Intended Words

Does it matter if a pastor preaches a message that does more harm than good? Does it matter to know whether I’m the only one who felt that way about a particular sermon?

The difficult part is knowing that it could have been a good message, especially after the powerful testimonies and wonderful time of worship and prayer beforehand. Passages were read from the Bible, but the pastor’s usage of them in today’s world, along with the analogies meant to stress the passages, missed the mark. It seemed to me that the pastor did not say what he meant to say, and the lingering feeling within me wasn’t that I was convicted to change my life. I am changing my life everyday with and in God. It’s more that it seems the devil wants to use his misguided analogies to try and diminish the growth I am making with my Lord.

God speaks with and guides me. And when I make an error, such as when I close out God’s voice because I think I’m doing well on my own, he points that out to me and then uses my errors for good, because that’s who my God is. – I thank you God for that. –

I guess what I wish is that pastors pay attention to make sure what they are saying is what they mean to say, and to not take short cuts in their analogies thinking people will get what they mean. People are a lot more complex than some pastors give them credit for. Words are powerful, and when giving a message to a congregation in God’s name, it seems they should put more work into making sure their words line up with God’s intended message. Otherwise, like I did, some may leave feeling confused, not convicted, wary that the devil is steering them away from their connection with God, and otherwise dissatisfied with the word for that day.

I have to say, this helped! I thank God also for this blog. Sometimes I may vent what’s on my mind that day, which may not be exactly what I feel the next day, week or month (because I am still growing and this is a blog). Nonetheless, it helps me to write out these feelings. Like now, I no longer feel so disconnected by the message as I did before I began writing.

I hope that if anyone misunderstands what I say in this blog or thinks I’m misguided or misstated something, that you’d make a comment. I will respond, and maybe, if I did misstate something, then I can correct it. The sharing of ideas is a blessing, and I hope others will be moved as well.

The Night Sky

I soar into the night sky,

while the thundering waves below

echo my fears of what lie ahead

and magnify the exhilaration

that I’m soaring with my God,

from and into His creation.

The chill of the night filters

through me as if I were as malleable

as the ocean mist,

while the crashing sound of the waves

speaks to me of God’s soothing promises:

“Keep going. Faith will carry you

on your path. The universe is

but a speck of the power that I

have given you. Your tears

evoked from the faithfulness of your

life are love songs to me. Because of

your devotion and trust, the mysteries and

powers of the night sky and all of its

stars and galaxies and worlds unknown to you

are nothing compared to the gift of life

I have given you.”

I soar through the night sky,

in the energy of God’s ocean,

in the magnetism and density of

all that is His, feeling the power of

His love and the flowing of His promises.

Peering through the open window

into the night sky of His eyes,

I fall asleep to the lullabies of the 

thundering and crashing waves of His voice,

and dream of His whispered promises

of tomorrow.

- I wrote this poem while at the Dreams Resort of Casa Dorada in San Jose del Cabo Mexico, where the sounds of the waves thunder throughout your suite 24 hours a day. It was beautiful! Just returned last night.

Penny Worth

Searching within, I could not see any value. Each of my steps was worth less than the marred and barely identifiable penny I could not get myself to pick up from the curb at my side. My worn shoes, with a dirty sock showing through a hole at the top of one, and a jagged big toenail sticking out the tip of the other, were more valuable and needed more care than the feet hardly sustained within them.

I continued walking, wondering when I would reach the Boulevard Bridge I knew was coming up.

Test Results

          There was no excuse. I had no more excuses and had to go in to find out what there was to find out. When I opened the door, the eyes that looked at me were shocking. It seemed that in this situation everyone should keep to themselves and leave me the hell alone.

I avoided those eyes and walked in as if no one else existed. There were open chairs, but I avoided those as well and stood to the side of the entrance, far from anyone, and faced the registration area until the people standing in line sat down. I would wait all day if I had to. After twenty minutes, the last person finally sat down and I walked up to the receptionist as if I had just walked in.

In a voice that only she could hear, I said, “I’m here to get my results.”

“Your test results?”