Upcoming Publishing Contest - Pitch critique request

The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest begins next week, and I would like some input on my pitch, if you don't mind.

Pitches, like synopsis and query letters, are so difficult for people who never knew writing a book meant anything other than writing a book and getting it published. I've done this wrong so many times, but now think it's good. Any feedback I could get would be great.

In particular, please let me know if you think the last paragraph should stay or go. Someone told me the last paragraph didn't add anything to the pitch and that it was like I was begging.

The pitch for the contest is to be no longer than 300 words. This one here is 260.

Here's the pitch for Anticipation of the Penitent, changed from when I first posted this based on the wonderful comments I've gotten so far:

Written in poignant, literary prose, Anticipation of the Penitent chronicles one family's battle between good and evil that is rendered to its destined completion.

Alezea is African American, in her mid-forties, thick-boned and troubled. She lives with her serial killer son, Thomas, whose father is Satan. Thomas is thrilled to gratify his father, and aspires to exceed at his job.

Moved by her elderly employer, Alezea confesses her life of sin, from working as a child in her family’s drug enterprise, to the devil taking claim of her as a young adult. An unlikely bond develops that gives Alezea a first glimpse of hope that her life might change.

The employer guides Alezea to Gabriel, an isolated Christian community, where she begins to see her son as a part of herself and not merely as Satan’s seed. Only, Thomas defiantly plots to carry out his violent calling, which all but destroys his mother and nearly sends her fully into the devil’s clutches. 

Caged, maimed and in turmoil, Alezea longs only for death. Using a most unorthodox method, the people of Gabriel refuse to let that happen, despite Thomas’ escape.

While free from Gabriel, Thomas enters into an unexpected union and schemes to further his father’s line. This venture takes him to new heights in his lifework, evolves him to maturity, and forces him to encounter the astonishing truth of his heritage.

In a thrilling and mysterious journey of trials, growth, and a touch of horror, is one story of how God uses every person to fulfill a sinner’s hope. 

Book Review - Finding Faith in the City Care Forgot

Just in time. As soon as I've completed my first book review, I learn of this Indie Reading Challenge called Indie-Fever. I'm starting at four books for the year and see from there.

I am not a fast reader in any sense of the word, which is why I mainly do audiobooks from the library. But I will try to read and review books from fellow Indie writers when I can. Here's a first review for me regarding a Christian non-fiction book by Teena Myers.

Teena Myers has a way of writing that draws you into the heart of her experiences. The many stories of how people found their way to God are moving, some sad, encouraging and inspiring. They remind you that faith is meant to grow within us and not remain static, and that although it may seem the case, we Christians are not a breed in isolation. Instead, we are in many places, including living in the ghetto, trying to minister to others and traveling the states in hopes of sharing God's word.

Teena states her intent for the book was to show what God does in our world today, in response to an atheist's question. In lives that stemmed from brokenness, physical and mental illness, and searching for self, God and the truth, she shows that God's miracles are still abundant in everyday life. With God working in his time, he is nonetheless with us every step of our lives.

Some stories were more moving than others, while a couple seemed a bit perfunctory. The middle part of the book grabbed me the most, while the last two chapters (not counting the conclusion) were the least effective to me.

Despite that, I believe this book and the worthy stories within give the gift of letting us see more of God's grace, miracles and love.

Teena's book is available on Amazon.com. Just click the cover above.

She published through Tate Publishing, which is the company that I considered publishing through as I thought the contract they offered me was fairly decent. But they didn't give me enough time to decide before I had to accept. Teena says she had a wonderful experience with them, so I'm excited to share this news.

One issue that came out is that they would not make a grammar change that she and many people would say needed to be made. I guess everything is a give and take, and no options are perfect.

"Getting Out of that Slump" Hope for the New Year

Yay! This is my first installment in the Insecure Writer's Support Group, and do I need it. It's great timing too, being that it's the first week of the year and goals need to be met. And I did make goals this year and have my resolutions all set and ready to go...at least in my head.

I haven't yet completed my writing/blogging/marketing schedule, and had planned to start on it yesterday. Instead of working on it yesterday, I went to see "Django Unchained" and ate a big bag of buttery popcorn. Not very productive, but it was a free day and, darn it, I wanted to get out of the house!

So, my new supporters, I could use your energy force and prayers to help me complete my schedule and follow through with it. Not having written anything since my response to the prompt on my last post, I'm getting that creatively depressed feeling again. Although there's no need, because I've got lots to write about.

But, without the schedule, I don't get to writing enough. I read, watch TV, work, go to church, deal with family, anything but write on my novel. Help!! Send your energy. Be in ceaseless prayer. Be my accountability partners. Keep me from sinking into that "Unresolved Resolutions 2013" category!

The last two years were good for resolutions. With your help, this year can be even better!